The Jokers Wild

 1. Good: Your wife is pregnant.
 Bad: It's triplets.
 Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.
 
 2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
 Bad: She wants a divorce.
 Ugly: She's a lawyer.
 
 3. Good: Your son is finally maturing.
 Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door.
 Ugly: So are you.
 
 4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room..
 Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
 Ugly: You're in them.
 
 5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
 Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
 Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.
 
 6. Good: Your husband understands fashion.
 Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
 Ugly: He looks better than you.
 
 7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
 Bad: She keeps interrupting.
 Ugly: With corrections.
 
 8. Good: The postman's early.
 Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
 Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
 
 9. Good: Your son is dating someone new.
 Bad: It's another man.
 Ugly: He's your best friend.
 
 10. Good: Your daughter got a new job.
 Bad: As a hooker.
 Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
 Way ugly: She makes more money than you do.